Beer Die Table

First we started with a plane Jane sheet of particle board and went to town with an orbital sander to bring out the wonderful pattern that is wood grain.  First 100, then 220.

 Next came an application of a darker wood stain that we chose on account of its name, 'Gun Stock.'

 As the Gun Stock dried, we applied several coats of Miller High Life, Bayern Dancing Trout, and Reeser's Potato Salad in addition to an amazing medley of kabobs.  The kabobs were composed of crimini mushrooms, red onions, hand carved pineapple, cherry tomatoes, red bell peppers, greek spiced lamb sausages, and a special-occasion-24-hour-Randy-original-marinade grip of New York steaks cut into ribbons.

 We were assisted by the hopelessly adorable puppy Walter.

 Several beers later we decided that another coat of Gun Stock was needed.  Not pictured is a base frame of 2'x4's we installed to level out the surface and prevent warping.  This also received Gun Stock.

 A few days later after recovery and drying, we taped off our pattern and added the white lines to what would be the centerpiece image and our end-zone lines.  We used an oil based paint here, flat white.

 Two days later and one more coat of the white we peeled off the tape and this was our results.  Not bad so far.

 Next came much more painters tape and the application of our flat black oil based paint.  Again here was two coats and two days to dry.

 Results here:  The theme we were going for was two dice in a sniper reticule, paying homage to the Gun Stock, as well as to the nature of Beer Die.

 We then hand painted the dice with a five and the fictitious die number seven.  This is on account of the most important rule of Beer Die.  DON'T EVER SAY 'FIVE' OR 'SEVEN.'

 Touch ups with an oil based paint pen as needed.

After all this roughly 3 weeks have been sent applying coats of polyurethane to achieve an NBA court effect.  Final results will be posted on our nation's birthday.

10 to 1

Interested to see if my designated driver for this coming Saturday will stay true to his promise.

10 to 1 says he doesn't.

Looking back on it all

Should have brought a gun.  Maybe two.

Hunting Morels

Today will be my first attempt at hunting wild mushrooms.  I only have one question...

Do I bring a gun?

From the balcony of Green 9 Casablanca

This fine morning I am going to transcribe verbatim an odd journal scribble that was the only piece of word conjuring I could produce on the other side of the planet.

Miercoles, 07 de Marzo


        Well, its our third day in Ecuador (maybe the 4th) and Meyissa y Chago vas ento Atacames por la tarde.  I am in the hotel and just combo shit/puke out a really gross explosion of my insides.  I had some ceviche on the beach earlier, but I don't think that is what did it.  My body got sick from the heat and sun I feel like.  It is sunny and hot hot hot.  Everything is sticky and sweaty.  No rain.


        I am fairly delirious.  Splitting headache and unable to focus.  I'm trying to mustard up enough energy to go the la tienda y compra una grande agua y mas cigarettas.  Even though I feel like shit I can't stop drinking Clubs and smoking.  Me gusto vacation.  The coast is amazing, but I think I like Quito better because of the weather.


       In Ecuador of all places, we met a guy named Tom from Bozeman who had a surgical lung.  Of course he wanted a cigarette.  Of course we game him one.
    
                                                                                                          3 -7 -12

Eyes Wide Open pt. 1

Approach an African Anteater
Bowl a 300
Cauterize a canine nasal canal
Dig a deep dark drunk
Eyes Wide Open
Fall off a skyscraper
Grab a thunder strike
Hail an Ecuadorian cab
Imitate a blind person