Monday, December 30, 2013

American Jackass

As an American jackass, I purchased a TV that may have been too big.

After buying it and getting it to the parking lot, it became apparent that it wasn't going to fit in the car.

I had to call my friend with an SUV to come help us.

It did not fit in the SUV either.

We had to take it out of the box to fit it in the SUV.

Getting it home, it became apparent that it wasn't going to fit on our entertainment stand.

I may be an American jackass, but I'm an American jackass with a smile bigger than my big TV who likes 'Stuff.'

Friday, December 27, 2013

I Don't Like Basketball

I don't like basketball, never have.  If I had to compare my last week of running a large wine distribution outfit with my boss away on vacation to basketball, I wouldn't call it a slam-dunk.  However, through a series of technical fouls and half-court  shots, I won the game.

Thursday, December 19, 2013

Tools

When I think of my favorite and most important tools, things like my leather-man and reciprocating saw come to mind.  Cordless drill, fancy pliers, and 100-foot extension cords strike me as the most useful for 'getting shit done.'

No.

This is not the case.

My most used and most important tools are with me every second of my waking days.

My wallet and watch.

These tools allow me to operate with precision and organization.  If by some chance I don't have them with me, something has gone terribly wrong...

Wednesday, December 18, 2013

Buddha Sunrise

Electric Buddha rises over ribbons of gold, black browns, and cobalt blues.

Tuesday, December 17, 2013

Lycopene

I recently purchased a fairly large bottle of multivitamins.  I figure that as I approach thirty, why not?  A little lycopene here, a little zinc there, my body could use a few of these things.

Three minutes ago I read an article stating that multivitamins have no known actual benefits, and should actually be avoided due to an increased risk in some cancers.

Fuck.

Monday, December 16, 2013

You get used to it.

We have one of the loudest clocks I've ever heard.

It's 'tick tock' is not too unlike a teenager sitting in a squeaky recliner cracking his knuckles aggressively.

Like all things though, you get used to it.

Now it acts as a sort of deterrent in our living room.  A deterrent to those not used to it.

Thursday, December 12, 2013

Motorists

The gas cap on my car won't stay closed these days.

It's as if my car drives around town giving other motorists a wink, saying "My driver is an idiot!"

Such snark should not garner reprieve.  Soon I will remove my car's eyelid altogether if it doesn't start behaving...

Wednesday, December 11, 2013

Little Poem

In our own little way,
in our own little lives,

we are always a little intrigued,
by the man with little knives.

Tuesday, December 10, 2013

Petri Dish

The painted textures on the walls of our house remind me of a petri dish.

Larger globs chasing after smaller ones, engulfing them.

Smaller globs running from larger ones, hiding in the empty spaces.

The infiniteness and randomness of the application have dominated my attention as I sat down this morning in an attempt to find something creative.

Monday, December 9, 2013

Industriousness

Industriousness is what I'd like to blame my lack of writing on.

But I know too well that laziness is a factor in there somewhere.

Friday, November 29, 2013

Science and Food

Whilst cooking our Thanksgiving meal yesterday, I learned a few scientific facts about cooking.

1)  A countertop roaster oven will cook a turkey about 2 hours faster than you think it will.

2)  If you continue to warm the turkey on low for 2 hours while everything else catches up, you will cook all of the cartilage out of the bones of the turkey.

3)  If all of the cartilage cooks into your turkey drippings, and then you attempt to make gravy, you will end up with not-so-great uncooperative gravy.

4) Not-so-great uncooperative gravy doesn't taste very good.

Friday, November 22, 2013

Cats on a bed

Fact: Cats are not very helpful when making a bed.

Fact: Cats enjoy not being very helpful when you are trying to make a bed.

Thursday, November 21, 2013

Vice held by a ratchet wrapped up a noose

I have recently been given a lot of responsibility at my new job.

Less than a week in, mistakes are bound to happen, I am after all a human being.

Knowing that I had erred last night at the end of my shift when no one else was present, my sleep was as restful as a vice held by a ratchet wrapped up in a noose.  All that tension building up to when I walk in the door this morning and greet the aftermath.

Wednesday, November 20, 2013

Depth

There is so much depth and truth to the saying, "If you want something done right (or at all), then do it yourself."

Tuesday, November 19, 2013

Clovers

We have an unidentified planting hanging from the ceiling above our computer station at home.

Even in death, its old and retired leaves carry a certain beauty with them as they fall upon my typing fingers.

They look like little clovers, brown and wilted to precision.

Monday, November 18, 2013

Raffle

Last night I had a dream where I bought a raffle ticket.

The raffle was for more tickets, if I won I was to get 1000 more tickets.

I won the raffle, and all my new tickets were raffled for even more tickets.

Soon I had millions of tickets generating even more tickets.

I awoke to a confused sense of victory.

Friday, November 15, 2013

Grapes and a Headache

As I dive head-first into the wide and vibrant world of wine, I've encountered a set of constants:

1)  All wine is made from grapes.
2)  All wine when drunk in abundance gives me a headache.

That being said, I'm fairly certain several future blog posts will be related to the myriad of wines I get to take home and try.

Thursday, November 14, 2013

Vinegar

I'm discovering that you can clean almost absolutely everything, with vinegar.

It may stink a little bit...

...stink at not getting rid of the stain!

(rimshot)

Wednesday, November 13, 2013

Grow

Hugs and kisses help a baby to grow,
water and sunshine help a seed to grow.

Darkness and dank help mold to grow,
planning and populace help a city to grow.

What then, does it take for a man to grow?

Tuesday, November 12, 2013

Right Direction

The fog and the frost cast a blanket of calming uncertainty this morning.

It's hard to tell exactly where I'm headed going into winter, but it feels as if I'm moving in the right direction.

Sunday, November 10, 2013

Keys

I'm a firm believer that there is not simply one universal key to happiness in life, but rather multiple keys forming a keychain of sorts.

One of these keys is to always say yes if someone asks you if you want to go to the hot-springs.

Does not usually matter what hot-springs, or what time it is.

Just say yes.

Thursday, November 7, 2013

The Price is Wrong

I'm very profficient at some things, and halfway decent at others.  Ever since moving in with my father though, I've discovered that I am absolutely terrible at The Price is Right.

It doesn't matter whether it is a tube of toothpaste or a brand new Honda Civic, I have no idea how much things cost.

Wednesday, November 6, 2013

Recurring

Last night I had a recurring dream of mine.  Although not a nightmare, it tends to be quite stressful.

I'm under the assumption that I am still enrolled in college at a dreamscape version of my elementary school, Radley Elementary.  Always the same three classes in the same three rooms, my last semester is under way and I scramble to try and gather my extremely heavy books and make it to the rooms on time.  I'm late to all three, months behind in them all, and the teachers scowl at me as I hobble in ten minutes late and attempt to filter through my undecipherable notes.

At my breaking point, ready to just fail all three classes and try again next semester, I uncover my framed degree in my backpack.  A wave of relief rushes over me and I awake with a smile knowing that it was all one big dream misunderstanding, because I have in fact already graduated.

Monday, November 4, 2013

Unit of Measure

Perhaps one my favorite units of measure I frequently hear in my life, that is used by my family almost exclusively, is "from here to Arnold's."

'Here' being my dad's house, and 'Arnold's' being my uncle's house about 150 yards away through the shared back yard.

You'd be surprised at what can be measured in this world using this reference point.

Monday, October 28, 2013

The Wheel has all but Stopped

My creative wheel has all but stopped turning.

Trying to go to sleep at 6 in the afternoon is for all practical purposes, ruining my life, body, and marriage.

Tuesday, October 22, 2013

Tiny Habbit

Early morning gut-ache,
trying to make a dollar.
Cat meowing for food,
out of tiny habbit.
Too early for her breakfast,
too early for mine.

Saturday, October 19, 2013

Into the Sun

In the early,
as I drive into the sun.
Waking and dark,
thoughts of my day ahead.

In the late,
as I drive into the sun.
Tired and dark,
thoughts of the moon again.

Wednesday, October 16, 2013

Monday, October 14, 2013

Avenue

Need to figure out how to fall asleep at 7pm today, preferably without the use of narcotics or alcohol.

Sheep counting or magic spells could be my only avenue out.

Saturday, October 12, 2013

Cricket

Yesterday, I saw a cricket work its way across the warehouse floor.  It was the first time I had seen a cricket there.  I have seen about a hundred spiders the size of small catfish though, skittering around under the pallets.

I wished that little cricket good luck and went on about my business.

Friday, October 11, 2013

Batman

I can't help but compare my current life state to that of a young Bruce Wayne from the first entry in Christopher Nolan's The Dark Knight Trilogy.

Follow me if you will...

In the opening sequence of Batman Begins, Bruce Wayne has purposefully landed himself into a brute infested third world prison.  He has done so to engage in daily fights, foregoing his vast fortune to 'toughen' himself up.

I on a similar hand have given up a high paying job to move home and work in a warehouse.  I make substantially less money, am covered in cuts and bruises every night when I come home, and work alongside mostly undereducated rough and tumble type men.  Thoroughly enjoying it, I have been learning 'man skills,' and all around hardening my thin skinned scrawny lifestyle.

Yes, just like Batman.

Thursday, October 10, 2013

Skills

I always tell people I learn new skills quickly.

In this case I've gotten quite proficient at doctoring up my mashed finger using only my other hand.

Captain Hook would be proud.

Wednesday, October 9, 2013

Upgrade

I have placed an order for an LED fishtank hood.  My aquatic friends get a modern upgrade, one without the unnatural heat output that their prior overdome provided.

Tuesday, October 8, 2013

Monday, October 7, 2013

Nuked

I'm interested to see how my car trouble plays out.  I had it towed to the mechanic for fear of it overheating, which is difficult to judge on account of the temperature gauge not working.  The mechanic got ahold of me today and it didn't sound good.

The Mechanic:  "We drove it all over the place and couldnt get it to overheat."

Me:  "I had it towed there to not run the car, I just wanted you to check the heater core."

The Mechanic:  ".........oh.  I'll call you tomorrow..."

Either they nuked my engine or it wasn't ever broken.

Sunday, October 6, 2013

Papa

Being back in town has been interestingly delightful.  Sunday mornings when my grandfather comes over to bullshit before he goes to church have been a fresh way for me to start those days.  His stories are, from a St. Clair's perspective, personal and comical.  Just the fact that he is going to church is a little funny in itself.  Hearing stories of my father and his siblings when they were children, or my grandmother cussing out a K-Mart checker, makes me realize that I have been 'away' for longer than I realized.

Yep, interestingly delightful.

Saturday, October 5, 2013

Dark

Sometimes the only solution to a dark beer headache is even darker coffee.

Thursday, October 3, 2013

Life Question

When an automobile starts dispensing water out from under the dash onto your passenger side floor mat, do you:

A) Touch it
B) Smell it
C) Taste it
D) Drink it
E) All of the above

Wednesday, October 2, 2013

My concrete maze

Sore hands,
sore back,
sore knees.

My concrete maze has given me these.
My concrete maze doesn't hold hands.

All things considered,
I do enjoy my time there.

Monday, September 30, 2013

Forklift

I am perhaps a little too eager to get behind the joysticks of a forklift.

What's the worst that could happen?

Saturday, September 28, 2013

Hollow

It is a very hollow feeling when you realize that the person you've been waiting for to wake up and cook you breakfast actually isn't home.

Monday, September 23, 2013

Four walls

I find it a little amusing that as I set up our new living space how much it is starting to look like our old apartment in Missoula.  Testament to the fact that wherever you are living it is more or less just four walls and your stuff.

Saturday, September 21, 2013

Syncopate

Moving is more than less done.  Much thanks to Chad, Rachel, Mitch, Tad, and especially my dad for making it all happen.

Now we just need to go through four lifetimes of belongings and syncopate.

Or put the new firepit to use...

Wednesday, September 18, 2013

Tonight will be my last (dinner) shift at Biga Pizza, I have worked there for creeping up on seven years.
Any sentimentality is colossused by the stress and excitement of the days to come. 

Not sure where I am going with this.

My expression and emotion are tucked deep into my sleeve as always.

Tuesday, September 17, 2013

Durability of Life

All fish have survived the transplant from Missoula to Helena.  They were riding shotgun with me in a 5-gallon bucket and had their seatbelt on.  I have no A/C in my Daewoo (surprised?), and everything got fairly warm by the time we arrived.  I felt like an overly attached person taking a road trip with their fish who they believe to be close members of their immediate family.  Perhaps that wasn't so far off...

A testament to the durability of life.


Monday, September 16, 2013

Fragility of Life

Today Melissa and I arrived home from a wonderful wedding up near Swan Lake (congratulations Mr. and Mrs. Bryant), and immediately set out for a day trip to Helena for job interviews and 'cluster fucking' some furniture around.

It will be an experiment and testament to the fragility of life, for today I attempt to relocate my 10 gallon fish tank and its denizens.  A 5 gallon bucket and crossed fingers will be the only tools at my disposal.

Good luck fish friends!

Here is an image of some really good friends looking handsomely dangerous.




Thursday, September 12, 2013

Bruce Hornsby

Mandolin Rain?  Banjo Wind?

Bruce Hornsby's radio hit "Mandolin Rain" always brings to mind silly and potentially destructive weather phenomenon.  Similar to the children's book Cloudy with a chance of Meatballs, I picture mandolins falling from the sky by the thousands, and banjos crashing sideways into homes with hurricane like force.

After a Bruce Hornsby storm, which I will now dub a Bruce Stormsby, the streets and fields would be littered with the thrashed necks and broken strings of instrumentation.  People would exit from the safety of their homes into the aftermath and stand amidst the rubble holding each other tightly as they think of how to rebuild.  This imagery makes me smile juxtaposed against the songs smooth melodies and heartwarming feel.


Wednesday, September 11, 2013

Milestones

Huge milestone today, successfully programmed our new coffee maker to auto-brew a pot at 7am while I was in the shower.

Robots making me egg sandwiches while I shave is the next step.

Robots shaving me will be the third.


Tuesday, September 10, 2013

Vivid

My dreamworld has been awash with vivid absurdity as of late.  The removal of a certain chemical from my daily intake is most likely responsible.  Each night as I lie and slumber, days and weeks elapse within my dreams in vast and epic scenarios that span everything from terrifying to amazing.

Last night my Uncle Arnold and myself staged a coup from within a fictitious WWII countries' POW camp that ultimately failed. We did however managed to garner the respect of the guards, who then later assisted us in overthrowing the regime.  It had a final Spielberg-esque final scene when I defiantly threw a brick at the Warden's compound despite being faced with a firing squad, which stirred the would be executioners to about face and help us storm the building.  Arnold was only in his mid-thirties, and had long thick hair.

Then there was the Ecuadorian illegal street racing dream where I had to get into a shootout with hazmat suit wearing CDC enforcers.  Drifting through the third world in my suped-up Daewoo Nubira firing the Desert Eagle out of the window.

The dream where I choked back tears as I watched my mother sink into the ocean carried by a bathysphere as she smiled back a look of "don't worry I'll be fine."

I must say, it has been rather enjoyable for the most part.

Saturday, September 7, 2013

Memories

I'm always contemplating the worth of memories and memorabilia.

When someone mentions the word memorabilia, many people think of sports teams and foam fingers, I think of newspaper clippings and old checkbooks.  Memorabilia are objects that carry with them the value of association with a specific interest, field, or memory.

My trouble lies on the balance of worth between the actual memory, and the object associated with it.  Should I be happy with the collection of stored senses and remembrances in my mind, or do I also want to keep a trinket to trigger these memories?  The memories die with the owner, but objects remain on the earth, their value dependent on many factors but mostly who stays in contact with them.

I want to keep on this subject, I'll try and sort this out better tomorrow.  Brain's a little fuzzy today.


Wednesday, September 4, 2013

Lost and Found

When sorting through some old school documents today I found a signed and dated 'poem' I had written on the back of a notebook on October 12, 2008.

It read,

"Randy, what do you least want out of life?"
"A black hole in my backyard."

Monday, September 2, 2013

Labor Day

A back heavy week and a trip to Helena are behind me as I rub my eyes and greet Labor Day.

I aced my job interview, but I did not get a chance to look at the home rental I had my eye on.

I ate the hottest hot wings in Missoula, my wife beat me at my favorite board game by one point, and my car faired better than I expected on the interstate.

If I stick my hands out palms up and shimmy them up and down with a pursed lip, I can't help but feel like things are going ok.

Monday, August 26, 2013

While the power was out...

Last night, a short yet severe storm slapped Missoula across the face.  The sky had been ominous all day, but finally around 6:30 in the evening the winds picked up and rain started coming in sideways by the bucketful.  Melissa and I had just returned from the store and were chopping up all manner of vegetables for a stir-fry dinner, when 'C-Rack,' a lighting bolt slammed home and everything powered down.  The electric stove didn't want anything to do with cooking vegetables for the next hour and half (I was starving), so we decided to get into a bottle of knapweed honey wine we had been given for a wedding present.  We did so on the kitchen floor, sitting around discussing the fires and the move while our cats cruised around wondering what we were doing down on the floor.

These things I was reaffirmed of while the power was out last night:

- I don't like knapweed honey wine, not even a little bit.

- We are as excited as we are nervous about moving to Helena.

- I love my wife.

Friday, August 23, 2013

Cats

Here I am trying to sit on the computer chair and get some morning news in me, with my fat cat taking up 95% of the chair so as I have to sit barely on the edge.

Looking down at her she's giving me a look like, "Fuck you for taking up that little bit of chair."

Wednesday, August 21, 2013

Ghost in the Machine

I awoke at 1:30 am last night to an odd noise coming from my kitchen.  It wasn't very loud, so I was a little confused and surprised as to why exactly it woke me up.  Stumbling into the dark without my glasses on, I nakedly walked out of my bedroom to investigate.  The microwave was glowing.  The time was up on the display, 1:32, but yet it was on and running.  The stop button would do nothing, it just kept whirring and spinning.  I opened the door, and yet it still remained on!  Fearing radiation from an open and running microwave, I unplugged it.  Silence.

I have yet to plug it back in, perhaps it is time to get a new unit...

Tuesday, August 20, 2013

Monday, August 19, 2013

Fun with powertools

Yesterday I learned an invaluable life lesson.


You cannot cut a mattress in half with a reciprocating saw.

Friday, August 16, 2013

Abundancy

I overheard a drunk hippy yesterday evening while I was at work.  He was telling another drunk hippy (they both smelled like the bed of a farm truck) about how he was gonna make some easy money.

"I'm really going to get this winter melon thing going this year," said Hippy 1.

"Oh yea?" said Hippy 2.

"Yea, all I need is a little heat maybe and a little light and then I'm going to have watermelons and cantaloupes coming up all winter long maaaan," droned Hippy 1 while chewing a mouthful of pizza.

At this point I thought to myself, 'a little heat and a little light', those aren't very abundant in the winter time.

Hippy 1 then said, "They'd easily sell for like 6 or 8 bucks at the farmer's market maaaan, I'd be cleanin' up!"

Then I thought, 'farmer's market', that's not very abundant in the winter time.

Thursday, August 15, 2013

Superficial

Time to bust out the reciprocating saw, plaster, and paint.  It is moving time.

This will be the last move of our 'college years.'  One more time to fill nail holes with toothpaste and superglue trim back to the wall.  Superficial cleaning done right will net you your full deposit back, and then start crumbling back into the same sad condition your apartment was when you moved in.

Tuesday, August 13, 2013

Very much on top

Our trip to Helena this weekend wasn't as fruitful as Melissa and I had hoped for, but we are still holding onto the possibilities of our new life after we move.  Eyes forward and determined, we'll stop at nothing to make it work.  With little over a month to go until the U-Haul is loaded up, I still feel very much on top of everything.

Sunday, August 11, 2013

Time Lapse

I've decided to take a stab at time lapse photography.  I also had a left over keg from my wedding.
This is the two combined.


Saturday, August 10, 2013

Emergency protocols

Sometimes I crack myself up.

We got home last night to a home without power.  An intense thunderstorm with high winds whipped through Missoula as the sun dipped down behind the mountains around 8pm.  Our windows were left open during the entire event so our houseplants all received a hardy thrashing.  Potting soil and leaves littered the living room carpet.  The cats looked wide-eyed and terrified in the dark.  As I awoke this morning, I smiled at the decision my drunk self made last night to place my 2-meter hamm radio next to the bed.  Way to go Randy, good emergency protocols.  I had not bothered to dial it into the local repeater tower, or any of the local emergency channels.  I did have it tuned into the deserted 146.420 frequency that my friend Chad and I use as our private com.  Best to be in touch with your friends when shit goes down apparently.

Now I sip my coffee as go through my quiet apartment remedying all the flashing 12:00's.

Thursday, August 8, 2013

9-1-1

I just got out of the Red Cross first-aid training course.

Allow me to sum up what the less than enthusiastic instructor taught us:

Call 9-1-1

I think I can do better.

Wednesday, August 7, 2013

Randy

A wise man by the name of Randy once told me, "I've never met another Randy I didn't like".  Those words have become a constant truth in my life.

Tuesday, August 6, 2013

Elk Meadows

Yesterday, I realized I was doing something right in life when I was taken to a beautiful place called Elk Meadows.  It is located just over the Idaho border, and I was accompanied there by my bartender and best friend for a day of shooting clay pigeons.  We also drained the afternoon sun by shooting all varieties of rifles and handguns at paper targets.

Remember folks, always tip your bartender well, it will get back to you.


Sunday, August 4, 2013

Issue

I've always taken issue with the saying, "Snails and turtles take their home with them wherever they go," of course alluding to the shells on their backs.

The shells aren't their homes, they are more like helmets or backpacks.

The pond, aquarium, etc. where they live is their home.

No snail could ever move a fish tank, I can barely do it.

Saturday, August 3, 2013

Dusk

A little more sifting through my wedding photos and I found this one.  Something about the light of dusk and the off-centering of the sign really does it for me.




Wednesday, July 31, 2013

Q & A

I had a little question and answer session with myself last night.

Q:  You, Randy, get off work at 1:00am.  The bar closes at 2:00am.  How drunk can you get in exactly 1 hour of drinking?

A:  Extremely.

Tuesday, July 30, 2013

Wedding Photos

Thank you to Mike LaPointe and Katie Asaro for capturing these and many more wonderful images from our big day.  Turned out great.











Sunday, July 28, 2013

Photo-Waders

I finally received the flash drive that contains 8gb of our wedding photos.

As much as I thought I wasn't going to be, I am more than excited to wade through them all.

That wonderful day as I perceived it was over in the blink of an eye, and I am interested to see what the camera captured that my memory did not.

I shall post the winners shortly.

Wednesday, July 24, 2013

Algebra : Revised

The fundamental laws of mathematics are as immutable as much as they are arbitrary constructs of human thought.  Equations of all kinds with their many variables exist rigidly within the confines of Algebra, Geometry, Chemistry, Calculus, etc. etc.  The Pythagorean Theorem for example is A2 + B2 = C2, never A2 + C2 = B2.  Trying to outright remove one variable from any such equation, not simply move around and solve the equations with appropriate changes to division or multiplication, is not only mathematically impossible but also completely impractical.  Like trying to have the Pythagorean Theorem exist as A2 = C2.   Not related to mathematics at all, but existing metaphorically parallel to that impossibility, I have been attempting to remove a necessary variable from a constant equation.  It has proven to be very difficult and impractical indeed, but not in the very least impossible.

Like I said, it is all merely a construct of human thought, and as such, should be able to be thought out and reapplied differently... as much as we humans see fit to think.

Tuesday, July 23, 2013

Waiting Room

Sitting in the waiting room of the uninsured,
listening to soft rock and asthmatic breathing.
The receptionist is friendly enough,
with her cheap haircut and unslept eyes.
Here today looking for the all clear,
the "It is nothing,"
the "Just keep an eye on it."
Filing out all the forms,
the DOB, the check yes or no,
the sign here and here.
Do I let the man
with the sprained wrist
go ahead of me?
No, because I am an American,
and God damn it, I was here first.

Friday, July 19, 2013

T.W.A.E.

There's a list of well over 100 songs that see regular rotation across almost all radio stations, that when I hear them, I hear different lyrics in my head.  Sometimes I sing them out loud, sometimes I keep it to myself.

My Sharona - The Knack

Beat It - Michael Jackson

Bad - Michael Jackson

I Think I'm Alone Now - Tiffany (really The Shondells)

American Pie - Don McClean

These are only but a few examples, and I am of course referring to a common symptom that most children of the 90's experience, 'The Weird Al Effect.'

I am also pleased to announce that my wife and best friend will be attending my first and possibly only Weird Al concert tonight, oh happy day.

Cheers childhood Randy!

Wednesday, July 17, 2013

Patterns

One thing I notice when I'm lucky enough to be looking out from the window seat of an airplane, is that all the rivers and tributaries look like blood vessels.  When you look at a high resolution close-up of the human eye, all the blood vessels look like trees and branches.  When you look at the roots of a tree or the veins on a leaf, the same pattern emerges.  These patterns recur all throughout nature and are also known as fractals.  They can be mathematically duplicated ad infinitum into absolutely stunning works of art.  Truly awe inspiring stuff.

What cannot be mathematically duplicated are the asymmetrical and swollen patterns of the veins on my left leg.  Appearing roughly a week ago and out of nowhere, they demonstrate to me that everything, even the beautiful patterns of nature, can sometimes go wrong.  Mutations and illnesses come from out of nowhere, strike without hesitation, and show no mercy.

Perhaps I should go get it checked out.  May need some road work on my body's highways.

Monday, July 15, 2013

Grindstone

Sometimes you've got to squeeze your tongue out of the corner of your mouth, squint one eye, and really put your weight behind pushing your life to the grindstone.

Saturday, July 13, 2013

Politics and News

As I scroll through the day's top news stories on my computer, I can't help but feel confused and lost.

The main story is the highly covered case on the politics of self-defense with the George Zimmerman trial.  There are two other stories on shootings today listed in the middle of the list of headlines.  One of a fifteen year old's birthday party where one teenager was shot and killed and several were wounded, and another at a San Francisco shopping center where two were killed and one was wounded.  Seven UN peacekeepers were killed in Darfur and a third hospitalized victim died from the Asiana plane crash that occurred earlier this week.

Then, buried way at the bottom, beneath the reviews and grossing information of the film 'Pacific Rim,' beneath the discovery of yet another blue planet in the universe capable of sustaining life, beneath all the latest drama circling around the NBA draft, lies an article where a recent study shows that over 2 million people die annually from the accelerated decline in air quality world wide.

2 million people a year.  365 days a year.  Thats almost five and a half thousand people a day, all with families, all with problems, keeling over and dying from the damage we've done to our planet.

I'm not an environmentalist, I'm not a gun rights fanatic, and I definitely don't give a damn about the NBA.  But I am a man who knows that something is wrong with the 'Media' and to a greater sense the human condition.

I try not to, but always inevitably do, declare that I'm glad I live in Montana and don't have to deal with that sort of shit.  I also almost never have a solution or positive input towards these problems as much as I would like to.  So like I said, I can't help but feel confused and lost.

Also, Pacific Rim wasn't that good of a movie, as much as it to be with giant robots fighting giant aliens.

Friday, July 12, 2013

Rude Assumptions

Yesterday I saw a heard of children,
and it may not be my place to judge,
but upon review of their dirty clothes,
their fat bodies and crooked teeth,
smudged faces and fingers in their noses.
I made the rude assumption,
that these children were raised and tended,
by second-hand smoke and daytime TV,
soda pop and Pokemon.

Yesterday I saw the mom and dad,
the creators of that heard of children,
I knew it was the parents,
I could see it in their fat bodies,
the crooked teeth.
I made the rude assumption,
that these parents were raised and tended,
by Keystone Ice and unemployment checks,
a fierce hand and a shorter temper.

Two generations of Americana,
loving each other dearly,
dragging their knuckles in the dirt,
breathing through their mouths,
that sick dog-shit breath.

Tuesday, July 9, 2013

You know you are growing up when...

...you realize that your desk isn't big enough to contain your work.

...you get excited at what type of desk you will acquire to compensate for this problem.

...you get even more excited that a bigger desk means you get to go shopping for a new scanner.

Monday, July 8, 2013

Desert Engineering

Oiled and ready,
springs with Teflon synthetic,
piston tiered behind 152mm,
primer punches into powder,
so much energy,
so little room.
Built for war, bought for awe.
Gas and political pressure unite,
take hand in its making.
Yet now so calm,
cold and gutted on my end table.
A masterwork,
steel forged,
kept safe,
kept clean,
it is its own museum.

Running

I don't believe that you could win the presidency with the campaign slogan "Sorry for Partying!"

I do believe you could run though.

Sunday, July 7, 2013

Yowl

For the past two nights at around 4:30 am, two neighborhood cats have been going at it.  Nothing can pierce through crisp summer moonlight like the yowls of dueling felines.  At first they moan to each other  and I awake thinking that small children are crying in the street.  The cries turn angry, they raise the pitch, and all of a sudden its like you've tried to start a car with the two cats under the hood.  I can almost hear the fur flying and the claws digging out blood.

For a moment I am worried.  It's almost like lying awake as a young boy listening to your parents fight, hoping everything will be all right.

Silence.

One more hiss and the loser departs to go lick its wound under some carport or dumpster.

Saturday, July 6, 2013

Hot Dog Zapper




Here perhaps, is proof that I either should or should not embark down a career of electricity.  Shown is a prototype field test of the 'Starling Zapper' my friend Chad was contracted to build, a web cam operated bird termination device.  Testing was done on a hot dog, we decided that was similar enough to the physical make up of a small bird.  The device has since gone active and is fully functioning.

Wednesday, July 3, 2013

Barrel Cactus

If a cactus falls in the desert, and nothing is around to hear it, does it make a noise?  Does it make a dust plume?  What happens to the water contained therein?

Tuesday, July 2, 2013

Cat Heat

There are not too many options for dealing with a heatwave when you live in an upstairs apartment without air-conditioning, especially when you are a cat.

I've noticed that our two have taken these measures:

-Sleep 23.95 hours per day.

-Don't eat.

I do what I can with ice cubes in their water and daily brushing, and at least they are faring better than the fish tank.

Sunday, June 30, 2013

Super Moon to Honeymoon

Finally it has all come and gone.

Melissa and I planned and executed what felt like the perfect wedding, we survived a 5 day jaunt across the state of Montana for our honeymoon, and we have completely ran out of room in our apartment with the inclusion of all the stuff we received as gifts.

The wedding day itself was watched over by what the news has been calling the 'Super Moon.'  This is the annual full moon where the distance between our lunar satellite and the Earth is at its shortest.  Take what you want from this; fertility, good luck, or aliens; to me it was mostly just bright and beautiful.

My bride looked stunning, I looked OK, and if I had the chance to do it over again I wouldn't change a thing, nor would I ever do it over again because throwing a wedding in this day and age is an enormous pain in the ass.

We cleaned up and packed out, heading to destinations such as Butte, Chico Hot Springs  and Virginia City.  Here are a couple of my favorite photos from the trip.

 Melissa on our hike towards the Lewis and Clark Caverns.
 An awesome shot of one of the many amazing stalagmites found therein.
 Our rustic and century old cabin we stayed 2 nights at in Nevada City.
Some escargot, which was delicious.

I was also pulled over by the Montana Highway Patrol for the first time ever on our way home yesterday for speeding (I am almost always guilty of this when on the road).  The nice young man gave me a warning as a wedding present.  Thank you officer Luke Burson.

Thursday, June 20, 2013

Little Cork

I was writing my wedding vows yesterday afternoon, and after about 10 minutes of struggling, the little cork inside me that was holding all the magic in popped loose.  Beauty flowed out through my fingertips.  It was romantic, it was humorous, and it was wholly original.

Confident and proud of the 250 words I had finely polished, I readied my printer.  At this moment, I did something I had never done before.  The rat's nest of cords connected to the surge protector under my desk have never been moved in 4 years, I have spent untold hours in this spot working and playing.  My toe, on this day, decided to find the on/off switch of the power strip and flatline my lamp, computer, router, modem, and printer.

Nothing saved.  Turned everything back on and nothing was recoverable.

I suppose this is a sign that perhaps those vows weren't as good as I thought...

Sunday, June 16, 2013

R.I.P.

I apologize for and blame my lack of any fruitful writing on the fact that I'm becoming wed in less than a week.  That aside, I would like to take a moment to remember the late Quan Chi, our African Dwarf Frog who passed quietly in the evening yesterday.

It was a good year little frog friend, eat many Blood Worms in your Nether Realm.

Wednesday, June 12, 2013

Little thoughts

When doing my quarterly deep cleaning / water replacement on my fresh water fish tank, I get a little thought in my head that I need a tiny aquarium fishing license to scoop the inhabitants out into a pitcher of water.

Perhaps also a tiny fishing pole would be in order.

Friday, June 7, 2013

Productivity

They say keeping yourself busy is the key to success and happiness.

I say keeping yourself busy is the key to being able to relax again once everything is done as quickly as possible.

Sunday, June 2, 2013

The Classics

One must always respect the classics:

The classics being a bottle of middle shelf scotch known as The Famous Grouse.

The respect being not injuring oneself whilst finishing the entire bottle with your buddy.

Saturday, June 1, 2013

Doors

"There is no back door to Heaven,
but there is a front door to Hell."

-Ronnie James Dio

Wednesday, May 29, 2013

Family Time

Two days ago I witnessed a woman accompanied by whom I presumed to be her daughter.  They were walking around the restaurant we were eating lunch at checking all the ash-trays outside for cigarette butts that could be further enjoyed.

I thought to myself, "Hey, at least she's spending time with her daughter."

Edit - It is worth mentioning that the daughter was no more than 5 years of age.

Monday, May 27, 2013

Memorial Day

Memory usually doesn't play into my Memorial Day weekend.

Not that I  don't think back on those I've lost and those who've fought for my freedom, but rather that I get so drunk that I don't remember what I'm doing.

Wednesday, May 22, 2013

Gloom

Dark and stormy day out there.

Hold on to your hopes and hats.

Wednesday, May 15, 2013

Mid flows into Late

My adolescence is only fossilized prehistoric remains in the museums of my mind.

My early-twenties are a blur of tests and intoxication settled on the dusty writing degree hanging in my den.

My mid-twenties saw a stabilization of sorts; solid cash flow, multi-continental vacations, and a larger overarching concern for my own physical well being as well as the mental wellness of those I surround myself with.

Today I emerge from yet another chrysalis and enter my late-twenties.  Already the winds of change turn at the pages of my life's story with each gust.  Hopefully, like most books, this one gets better near the end.

Monday, May 13, 2013

The rough within the diamond

Today has got everything going for it, all planned out and primed to achieve a leisurely taste of accomplishment.

I can't put my finger on it, but something feels amiss.  I don't fully trust this perfect day.

Thursday, May 9, 2013

No problem, only solutions.

The problem is not how a person with Deuteranopia (Color Blindness) will handle a system of wire categorization that is based heavily upon color coding, but rather a solution exists somewhere inside it as to how hard this person is willing to compensate and adapt to overcome.

Wednesday, May 8, 2013

Not wrong, not right.

A beautiful sunny Monday afternoon in Missoula saw me sifting through shelves of home-renovation and DIY self help books at the ever informative and wonderful Book Exchange.

My prey was anything and everything pertaining to electrical codes.

Rarely do predators land their target prey on the first hunt.

I did go home with a score, and I'm fairly certain that it was not the right choice in books, but I'm also keen to the fact that they were definitely not the wrong choice in books.

The Complete Guide to Wiring doesn't have an over abundance of coding to it, but has turned on a few light bulbs to an area I have had no practical experience in.  Halfway through it, and I'm already eager to install some THHN/THWN wire through some EMT conduit.  Finishing the book this weekend will probably see me taking a trip to the hardware store for a self-administered exam to repair two antique and non-functioning lamps that Melissa and I have been lugging around with us the past few years.

Codes for Homeowners is the second of my purchases, and feels a little more daunting than the first, but it has been too long since I got any sort of good mental exercise.  There really only appears to be 25 percent of this book that would be put to practical use, but I don't think my life will suffer having access to plumbing, building, and mechanical codes in addition to electrical.


Tuesday, May 7, 2013

Experiment

Setting out to discover whether or not a young dog can be taught old tricks.

Monday, May 6, 2013

Water over my head.

Oceanic blue sky,
sees a lone cloud roll across.

Playful it wanders.

Self kneading and alone,
East through sunshine to West.

As if triggered by the emptiness,
the cloud dynamically shrinks.

Leaving only the blue.

The white is there,
but also is not.

Sunday, May 5, 2013

Rock Creek Retreat

Well, i survived my bachelor party.

All other details removed until remembered.

Shotgun wielding blowup doll has me worried.

Wednesday, May 1, 2013

To Chad

Its May 1st, time to get the grass seed out.
All this ice and snow is making the ground soft for the digging.

Friday, April 26, 2013

The finest of Literature

I found myself this morning, as per the usual, staring at an empty blogger screen trying to noodle up something witty, beautiful, or at the very least existant.

When suddenly, our eldest and fattest cat Aimee, who was vigorously crunching away into her food bowl, got a little too ahead of herself and started gacking up her barely chewed food back into her dish.

Perfect I thought to myself, just write that down.

Monday, April 22, 2013

Friday, April 19, 2013

Line in the sand

When asked to take sides, to declare one or the other 'right' or 'wrong,' you must draw a line in the sand and put yourself on either end.  In a not so perfect world I would draw not a line, but a circle.  I would then stand in the circle and announce my decision that there are no sides, but rather I am 'right' and everything else is 'total bullcrap.'

Wednesday, April 17, 2013

Stacking Coincidences

Whilst shooting the breeze with a new coworker of mine last night, we got upon the topic of birthdays. As it turns out, we share the same date of birth, which happens to be May 15th.  I was born in 1986, and he in 1987 putting me exactly one year older than him.

Now it gets a little interesting.

We then began discussing relationships and quickly revealed to each other that we are both in long term bonds with our female counterparts.  I have been with Melissa for 8 years, he has been with his old lady for 7.  I felt it prudent to note that Melissa's birthday is the day after mine on May 16th, putting me exactly one day older than her.

My coworker said something to the extent of 'get the fuck out,' because apparently his girlfriend's birthday is also on May 16th, with him being precisely one day older than her.

Weird.

Wednesday, April 10, 2013

East Helena

As I approach a nexus in my life where I will be moving back to my odd little hometown of East Helena, I can't help but think of how I've changed from my near decade in Missoula and how that change will contrast with the populace of East Helena.

I ride my bicycle as much as I can when the weather permits, do other people in East Helena even own bicycles?

Do I own enough flannels?

You can take the East Helena out of a St. Clair, but you can't take the St. Clair out of East Helena.

Monday, April 8, 2013

Death's warm embrace

Without sounding too morbid, I know someone who I'm relieved just died.

This person did not have the best life.  She was constantly isolated and impregnated by her partner.  He would stay demandingly close to her at all times, both keeping her pregnancy safe as well as denying her contact with anyone else in her environment.  His intentions were not cruel, simply driven by nature.

The worst of it all was that when her pregnancy came full term, all of her offspring were instantly consumed in a feeding frenzy by the others which he tried so hard to protect her from.  For this he made a better lover than a father.  The couple, not knowing where to procede from this disaster, simply attempted again to procreated and repeated the cycle.

This happened no less than 3 times.

She finally succumbed to whatever it is that fish succumb to, and sunk glossy-eyed to the bottom of our tank.

The male, now without a partner to school with or mate with, swims alone by the heating element.

Do I go get another female platy to appease the male, saving him from a life without purpose yet dooming the female to a tormented cycle of pregnancy and infanticide?

Nature is an interesting dynamo, even the little 10 gallon portion of it I tend to in my apartment.

Wednesday, April 3, 2013

Springtime

The warm sunny weather this morning has left me bursting with life like a hand shooting out of the ground ready to sieze a new year.  The populace of Missoula has a tendency to slouch about with their hands in their pockets during the abysmally grey winter months we have.  Friends become stand-offish, deep ruts are dug, and a thick blanket of complacency falls over our fair city.  Every year around this time however, the sun will come in full force, if even for just a few days, and rejuvenate the tired masses.

The car is washed of all its wintery sludge, vacuumed, and covered in ArmorAll.  My favorite band 'Clutch' has come and gone leaving me with a cache of wonderful, albeit drunken, memories.  Bicycle tuned up and ready to roll.  House cleaned, windows wide open letting the fragrant air of the Garden City stir up and wash out the stuffiness of last season.  Looking forward to an upcoming birthday party hosted by my friend and mentor Mitch Hegman in Helena next weekend.  Not to mention the wedding, bachelor party, honeymoon, and life relocation all due in the coming months.

Springtime in Missoula is a wonderful thing, and I shall enjoy this, my very last one.

Thursday, March 28, 2013

Old man vs young boy

As my 2 year old cellular telephone sputters out its last electronic breaths, I'm left with the decision of whether or not it is time to 'get with it' and upgrade to a 'smart phone.'  For reasons unbeknownst to me I have been curmudgeonly opposed to the idea for months on end.  I usually say things like, "I have a computer at my house god damnit, why do I need one in my pocket?"  "My phone is for talking on the phone, not for using the internet!"  "I don't want to pay another fifty dollars a month!"  The old man in me is fairly insistent that things are just fine the way they are and newfangled technology is moot and wasteful.

However, there is the young boy in me as well.  The young boy who thrives on Nintendo and anything new and gizmoish.  My young boy never cares about how much things cost, thats for the old man in me to pay for.  "Look at all the games this thing has, and a really nice camera too!"  "I'll know the answer to any given trivia question always and forever!"

I'm interested to see who comes out on top of this one.

And to be honest, I'm rooting for the young boy.


Wednesday, March 13, 2013

Proud

Today I awoke to a phone call from my father.

Yesterday he underwent some degree of ocular surgery in attempt to repair his eyesight.  He is one of the few people I know that share the particularly bad degree of vision I have adapted to (although he is not color blind as I am).  Clearly I inherited this vision from him, and something we have always agreed upon is the first thing you do every day is put your glasses on and the last thing you do is take them off and put them on the headboard.

The surgery he underwent was not a guaranteed winner.  There was a chance that his body would reject the operation and his eyesight would end up worse than ever.  Needless to say, his surgery was a success, and he is now able to see out of one eye (the other one shall be operated on next week) without the use of his glasses.

I can barely wrap my head around, as I'm sure he is experiencing, the idea of not wearing glasses.

The fact that he gets to grapple with his new problem of what to substitute in for the first and last thing to do everyday with a smile on his glasses-less face makes me proud of the old man.

Wednesday, March 6, 2013

What I found...

What I found on my walk yesterday:

-Lots of concrete.  So much so that all the parks and gardens that give Missoula her namesake seem implanted and coerced.

-The duck pond was wintered out of all life, save for three plastic bags choking to the side of the bank.

(If there is trash on top of concrete, which one is the litter?)

-A woman smoking a cigarette at a bus stop, staring at me intensely as she sucked hard on her butt, like I was doing something wrong and needed monitoring.

-A delicious orange purchased from the store, which I consumed on my way back.  I made a point to throw the rind onto some grass.

-When I got back home my neighbors were in tears smoking cigarettes on the stoop cussing at each other.

Dreary.

Tuesday, March 5, 2013

Routine

It can be difficult to come across inspiration in one's 'day to day.'

Inspiration to smile, to write, to create, to help out.

When swaddled into routine, human beings will often forget to stop and grow.

For myself especially, even though I set aside a small amounts of time throughout the week to create, those moments seem even more so shackled by routine.  These will often time be my least productive portions of the day.

Never underestimate the power of trudging out the door into a brisk morning, shoving your hands in your pockets, and taking a good old fashioned walk.  Today I shall do so, and shall make sure to clean my glasses first.

Wednesday, February 27, 2013

Ice-Fishing

Down there, or was it up there?
There with out buckets,
some for sitting, some for holding;
line, lure, tackle, beer.
Caught fish trying to swim air,
choking to breathe our world.
Two buckets for this, one for more buckets.

Body of lake now face of ice,
water separates water separates air.
Less intensive recreation
upon a threshold of worlds
reserved for saviors or idiots.

Below an algaeic filter
slowly green, deep for the fish.
Time ebbs through our holes,
augured past my worried reflection.
Above blue and white nomadic,
snow drifts into short-lived dunes,
under a cloudless sky.
We wait unattending.

The sun bears down on the ice,
on our buckets, on our coats,
on the truck we park there.
The frozen lake comes alive,
Tension.  Echoes like steel cable snapping,
thunderbolts set in the instant
beneath and weaving under our boots.

I am too afraid to bother fishing.
I stare at the warning on my bucket
of a child drowning in its own,
and wait,

for the day to be done.

Sunday, February 24, 2013

Brazil Nuts

I consider myself a polite progressive non-bigot.

I do however hope that in the quest for human equality that Brazil Nuts never loose that antiquated moniker that belongs only in Grandmother's kitchen.

Its terrible, but something about it makes me smile and think fondly of my elders.

Monday, February 18, 2013

Today's Poem

Randy and Melissa, sittin' in a tree,
'somethin somethin' somethin,' R.S.V.P.

Friday, February 15, 2013

Mess

Sometimes you just have to scoop yourself up off the floor with a dustpan, plop the mess on top of your shoes, and head out the door to work.

Wednesday, February 13, 2013

Step back and Zoom In

Step back,
way back.

Take a step back from your computer,
back from your phone,
out of your town,
out of your mind.

Step back into outer space,
Milky Way Back.

You see all that?
Space dust and dead space.

Out of time,
out of mind.

Now zoom in,
way in.

Zoom in on your keyboard,
in on your keypad,
onto your hands,
onto your fingers.

Really look at your skin,
climb into your wrinkles.

Further,
cellular microscopic,
down into your DNA.

Now tell me you know what it is or where it is,
tell me when it is or why it is.

Tuesday, February 12, 2013

Grains of Sand

Everyone knows that no two snowflakes are alike,
beautifully intricate and microscopically divine
they fall and stack with an unfathomable diversity.

Same though, for the humble grain of sand,
some volcanically forged crystals and elements,
others tiny past homes of tinier past creatures,
all purely one-of-a-kind.

So as our hourglasses pour out the daily minutes and seconds,
it is not unreasonable to believe
that the grains of sand
in all their originality
fit through the connecting tube
at different speeds, grasped a new way only once,
by the other grain falling beside it,
wedged for only a moment,
a moment shorter than you could ever know,
before the grains above finally shoo it down.

In essence, making some hours just a little longer,
or a little shorter.

So when your day drags on,
or gets away from you.
Think of the smaller things,
the flakes, the grains, the moments.

Tuesday, February 5, 2013

Northern Exposure

This prior weekend has marked the furthest North I have ever journeyed.  We ended at about 5 miles shy of the Canadian border.  Having never been to Canada before I can confidently say that I still have never been to Canada before.  Our destination was Eureka, MT.  We ended up turning off onto a very Montana road a few miles before Eureka, so never having had been to Eureka, MT before I can confidently say that I still have never been to Eureka, MT before.

Still, it was nice to get a little Northern exposure.

Tuesday, January 29, 2013

I can see me not seeing the foot of snow

As someone with terrible natural eyesight, the world I take in without my glasses is a distorted and blurry one.  Solid lines bleed in and fade from the edges of objects, light and darkness become the only truly discernable 'shape' my eyes can lock onto.  The giant orange numbers of our alarm clock become nothing more than a drop of watercolor on a sheet of parchment paper.

As I crawled out of bed today, the first thing I did (the first thing I do everyday) is go for my glasses.  Seconds before putting them on I 'looked' out the window.  White, lots of piercing white.  Movement, reminiscent of channel 3 static on an old analog television.

I could see the foot of snow that had fallen overnight, even though I could not see even the window.

Tuesday, January 22, 2013

Block Party

Calling around and attempting to reserve a block of hotel rooms for our wedding has been an odd endeavor so far.  What I need and am asking for has been met with the same answer from all hotels contacted so far.  It is similar to this made up scenario where I try and order something from a restaurant:

Me: "Hello, can I please have a salad and a steak?"

Restaurant: "Salads and steaks aren't available in the summer time, we do however offer root canals and canoe rentals, would you like fifteen of each?"

Sunday, January 20, 2013

What I'm After

I think what I'm really after in life, though I'm not sure exactly what it is, is what a cat finds in that warm patch of sunlight on the carpet.

Wednesday, January 16, 2013

Monday, January 14, 2013

Throw it in

I always feel obligated to throw in the towel on any errands the day has in store (today it was getting my haircut) if for some reason or another I don't get out of bed before 8:30 am (11:15 am today, ouch).

Yep, throwin' it in.

Friday, January 11, 2013

Daewoo

At six feet and two inches, I'm not the smallest guy I know.  I drive a 2001 Daewoo Nubira, which is the smallest car I know.

Quite the sight to behold then, is me trying to thread my long legs over the center console entering from the rear passenger door because all others have been frozen shut.

Monday, January 7, 2013

Salt Hands (revisited)

I have the hands of a 79 year old salt miner.  If you've ever seen my hands up close in detail, you would understand.  My digits are long and slender.  Each tiny wrinkle dry as a mummy's cough as they zigzag the surface of my hand.  I imagine the veins and capillaries within rattling like the pipes of an old house as they struggle to carry what little blood they can to my cells, cells that flake like the old home's century old paint.  All of the fingers on both of my hands are double jointed, which give them an arthritic and stiff posture.   They crack as I work, and the pinky on my left hand will frequently slip in and out of its socket with a jerkiness that resembles a dead girl from Japanese horror films.  My cuticles are constantly peeling back from the nail, exacerbated by me biting at the hangings.  When I clench my fists, the tendons that run the back of my hand through the fingers stand out stark through the paper thin skin against my tight knuckles.  You can see them pop left and right to either side, unsure of where they want to be.  Burns from the oven I work with scatter my fingers and palms, calluses and old blisters live on the inside of my hand.  The worst though, are the miniature Death Vallies that sit in between my fingers.  The skin there is so dry it feels like a shark's.  No amount of lotion will remedy them, no shower scrubber will make the old new.  I've convinced myself that the skin here is in as bad of condition as human skin will get.  Bleach rags and the dry cold Montana winter are easy to blame for this condition, but I know better than that.

Yes, I have the hands of a 79 year old salt miner.

Thursday, January 3, 2013

'Where'd you get that...'

Nothing begs to ask a question but never will like a woman with a black eye.