American Jackass

As an American jackass, I purchased a TV that may have been too big.

After buying it and getting it to the parking lot, it became apparent that it wasn't going to fit in the car.

I had to call my friend with an SUV to come help us.

It did not fit in the SUV either.

We had to take it out of the box to fit it in the SUV.

Getting it home, it became apparent that it wasn't going to fit on our entertainment stand.

I may be an American jackass, but I'm an American jackass with a smile bigger than my big TV who likes 'Stuff.'

I Don't Like Basketball

I don't like basketball, never have.  If I had to compare my last week of running a large wine distribution outfit with my boss away on vacation to basketball, I wouldn't call it a slam-dunk.  However, through a series of technical fouls and half-court  shots, I won the game.

Tools

When I think of my favorite and most important tools, things like my leather-man and reciprocating saw come to mind.  Cordless drill, fancy pliers, and 100-foot extension cords strike me as the most useful for 'getting shit done.'

No.

This is not the case.

My most used and most important tools are with me every second of my waking days.

My wallet and watch.

These tools allow me to operate with precision and organization.  If by some chance I don't have them with me, something has gone terribly wrong...

Buddha Sunrise

Electric Buddha rises over ribbons of gold, black browns, and cobalt blues.

Lycopene

I recently purchased a fairly large bottle of multivitamins.  I figure that as I approach thirty, why not?  A little lycopene here, a little zinc there, my body could use a few of these things.

Three minutes ago I read an article stating that multivitamins have no known actual benefits, and should actually be avoided due to an increased risk in some cancers.

Fuck.

You get used to it.

We have one of the loudest clocks I've ever heard.

It's 'tick tock' is not too unlike a teenager sitting in a squeaky recliner cracking his knuckles aggressively.

Like all things though, you get used to it.

Now it acts as a sort of deterrent in our living room.  A deterrent to those not used to it.

Motorists

The gas cap on my car won't stay closed these days.

It's as if my car drives around town giving other motorists a wink, saying "My driver is an idiot!"

Such snark should not garner reprieve.  Soon I will remove my car's eyelid altogether if it doesn't start behaving...

Little Poem

In our own little way,

in our own little lives,

we are always a little intrigued,

by the man with little knives.

Petri Dish

The painted textures on the walls of our house remind me of a petri dish.

Larger globs chasing after smaller ones, engulfing them.

Smaller globs running from larger ones, hiding in the empty spaces.

The infiniteness and randomness of the application have dominated my attention as I sat down this morning in an attempt to find something creative.

Industriousness

Industriousness is what I'd like to blame my lack of writing on.

But I know too well that laziness is a factor in there somewhere.